I am disheartened by humanity. This may or may not be coherent.

The terrorist attacks in Paris are something I can’t even begin to understand. There’s no motive other than sadism. It’s not about religion. It’s about fucked up people doing unspeakable things.

And then, the ignorant looking for a scapegoat. Stupidity.

I just don’t understand.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be Catholic (as I was raised), I went looking for something, anything, I could believe in. I read about other religions. Read about Islam, about Wicca. Practiced Wicca for a little bit, though in the end I moved on. I cannot tell you I am of any faith, or that I believe in the classic notions of God.

But I know that the God of the Jewish people is the same God as in Christianity, and the same God as in Islam. Those books had things I never knew in them, and while I don’t remember everything, I remember that.

One God, three interpretations. And that may be where the problem ultimately can be found. Interpretation. Humanity got in the way.

Each of those 3 religions have branches. Orthodox, Protestant, Mormon, Fundamentalists, Greek, Catholic, Byzantine, Whatever the fuck the 700 club is, Radicals, Splinter groups.

Everybody has an interpretation. And all of them are wrong, including my own. None of them are worth doing what happened in France. None of them are worth any amount of hate. Nothing is worth hate.

Nothing is worth hate.

Yet, terrorists believe some warped version of it all. Justification for unspeakable acts. Alien thoughts to almost anyone with a semblance of logic.

And more interpretations, still. I saw “God’s will” being used a lot. Ignorant people bragging that their God has a bigger dick than someone else’s, or maybe is a bigger dick. There’s an interpretation out there that God is merely the image of the divine we wish to see in ourselves. Some people’s idea of divinity is pretty fucking ugly. And who are you, or is anyone, to presume the will of God? I remember in almost all the creation stories that God gave his favored children, or humanity, free will.

Which means we do this. Not God’s will. Humans do terrible things to each other. God watches. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s to see how long we last before he decides to try again with dinosaurs. Maybe he wants us to ascend to a higher plane so he has someone to talk to.

Maybe he fell asleep and doesn’t know what dickbags we turned out to be. Who are we to know?

Humanity does terrible things to itself. Humanity does uplifting things to itself. Humanity is indifferent to itself.

We worry about things that mean nothing. We don’t worry about others. There are exceptions. There are stereotypes.

I just don’t understand humanity right now.